How to Read People and Understand What They Don’t Say


Human beings are a bunch of feelings and characters. It is incredible how the nature of man is when someone could be thinking something different from what he is saying. The invincible ability to read minds is a desire we are very willing to have as a superpower. 

As far as our imagination is allowed to go, the powers to see exactly what is going through another’s mind are limited to the TV screens and within comic books. 

However, the good news is that within the bounds of our everyday human capabilities to observe, smell, and feel, we can, to a reasonable extent, find out what someone is up to. 

In this blog post, we’ll be sharing with you, How to read people and understand what they don’t say.  

  1. Erase every interfering thought from your mind

Oftentimes, we tend to be equipped with thoughts that interfere with our perception of people’s intentions. Past experiences could impress and sustain certain information on us about a group of persons or concerning a situation. 

For example, an ex-friend who was a smooth-talking criminal could leave an impression that every person who speaks persuasively is a criminal. 

When meeting someone new, it is best to disabuse your mind of every prior thought in order to easily flow in your conversation with him. It will also make your observation and inference barrier-free.

  1. Establish a baseline with respect to someone’s mannerisms

There are unconsciously executed manners characteristic of a person’s lifestyle. It could be biting of the lower lip, or a loud clearing of the throat before making a speech. Some persons find it difficult to maintain eye contact with others. 

Whatever the habitual behavior, keen studying over time of someone can reveal what is unusual about his manners, consequently giving clues as to what is being hidden or unsaid.

Again, it is wrong to stereotype a particular mannerism, because what could be obtainable in a person when he’s hiding the truth may be another’s unconscious behavioral style.

  1. Take note of the body language

When engaging a person in a conversation, pay attention not only to his spoken words but also, observe what his body is expressing at the same time. Here, you don’t need to exaggerate your observation spirit by coming out so analytical and imposing your curiosity. 

Relax your mind as well as your body and try being in the moment. Let your mind register both the obvious and not-too-obvious attitudes. Sweep through the person’s physical appearance and take note of his style of dressing. 

What kind of message is he trying to pass to you through his dressing style? You will be able to match a person’s language style with his appearance or find a missing link in the conversation. 

Furthermore, his facial expression is important in reading his thoughts. If he is stating how pleased he is meeting you and his facial lines are deeply furrowed in a frown, then the opposite could be the case. 

A person’s posture matters too. Confidence is displayed when the shoulders are held high with the back straightened. An egotistical personality is seen in puffed-out chests with an air of arrogance settling about him.

You may not make an immediate analysis until you are able to assimilate as much of the nonverbal, bodily language a person is speaking as you can.

  1. Your intuition cannot be wrong

If you’ve trained your intuition to discern words and actions, you can depend on its verdict never to fail you. Popularly known as the guts feeling, one’s intuition quickly gives signals felt from deep within, with precision beyond what the ordinary eyes can see. 

Sometimes, the goosebumps you feel on meeting a person for the first time can be indicative of something your intuition needs to tell you. In such a case, you should be extra wary of the person in question, leaning more on how you feel than on any logical reasoning your head may be outlining.

In addition to your intuitive power, it is imperative to have a feel of the aura around the person you are interacting with. 

Since there are lots of ways psychopaths and sociopaths can mask their dark thoughts behind charm and charisma, the air around them most often betrays them. It takes a sensitive intuition to perceive the vibe people give off. 

For a sociopath, his laid-back personality could mean his uncaring disposition toward a matter. The aura around him is manipulative, wanting to draw energy out of his prey.

The psychopath is also manipulative and doesn’t care or have any respect for authorities. He is the life of a party and could get everyone to like him to be able to carry out his plans effectively. There are subtle giveaway signs, like sudden mood swings and violent tendencies, that could unveil a tight façade. 

Paying close attention to your gut feeling and the aura a person exudes can leak hidden thoughts to you.

  1. Listen to his voice and choice of words

When someone speaks, the tone of his voice reflects his feelings and attitude toward what he is saying. It exposes the message he intended to pass across. 

Sarcasm can be detected from the quality of the voice than from the words spoken. How high or flat a tone determines whether what is being said is in accordance with the emotions carried by the voice. 

Also, the impact the tone of voice has on you can reflect something worth paying attention to. When he laughed, did you get the chills? Does his “Thank you” sound like “Take cue” at which you have to be on the alert for eye-opening information?

A person who is considerate could show it through the choice of words he makes. Likewise, an insensitive fellow. A carefree individual can incorporate words that mirror his nature into his everyday vocabulary. 

A decisive person displays his assurance via action words that denote such. To be able to understand better the persona of an individual, do well to factor in the kind of words he favors in his conversational speeches.

Other points to note when reading a person include the firmness of his handshake, the feel of his embrace, the look in his eyes, his strings of personal relationships, and his interaction with people in a group setting. 

You may not be able to ascertain what a person is thinking exactly, but you can be sure to avoid being taken by surprise, especially if you are able to observe keenly without bias in your mind, and have trained your gut feelings to be trusted to make the right judgments.


Thank you.

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