Let’s face it. Not everyone will like you in life. As the popular saying goes, “you could be the sweetest peach in the world, but you will always find someone who hates peaches.”
There will always be issues with certain people in your life, which is why it is important to learn how to deal with people who hate you (not hating back).
Hatred is toxic and basically, a form of negative energy that has a way of affecting your physical health. When a person hates you, it’s on them, but when you allow it to get to you, it’s on you. You can become frustrated, which will end up instigating negative energy and aura around you.
The overall effect may eventually boil down to your health if you are not quick enough to tame it. Therefore, you need to learn how to deal with it.
In this blog post, we’ll be sharing with you some tips on how to deal with people who hate you.
- Determine why they hate you
It helps to start with yourself. It’s actually easy to conclude that people don’t like you for one reason or the other. However, the problem, sometimes, could be you.
Perhaps you should consider putting yourself in their shoes to know where the hate is actually coming from- you or them. You can even ask for feedback from someone you trust to help to analyze the situation.
If the problem is with you, say a miscommunication problem or some sort of misunderstanding, then it shouldn’t hurt to apologize and get past the situation. That way, you’ll both be happy you no longer have to deal with hate for each other.
- Ignore them
Once you’ve determined that the problem is with them and not you, the next thing you need to know about people who hate you, either for a particular reason or not, is that they are bullies.
They set out to make you feel bad about yourself because they are insecure and so they seek attention by any means possible, especially in cases where there’s no reason for their hate.
Now that you know what they want, what’s better than ignoring them? I mean, you need to realize that it’s okay not to get along with everyone. It doesn’t make you a bad person nor make them one (or at least, not necessarily).
If they are not affecting you, then they are not winning. But when you respond and lash out at them, you’re giving them permission to hang around and enjoy the satisfaction of getting to you.
Although this might be a little difficult to achieve, to the best of your ability, just ignore them.
- Accept your differences and do not try to engage
Note that it is not your job to make a person like you. You only have control over yourself and your emotions. So, do not force it.
There are people that you’ll bond well with and there are some others that you just won’t. You need to accept this reality and move on.
Once you have accepted the fact that you can’t be on the same page with everyone, you need to take it further by disengaging with those that hate you.
The truth is that if you must talk to someone who doesn’t like you, chances that the conversation will head in a negative direction are high. So why bother engaging with them in the first place? Remember, they are bullies and all they want to achieve is to make you feel bad. Why not just ignore them again?
Do not acknowledge them at all because if you lash out and hate them back, you’ll end up getting frustrated.
Not everything is worth your time and attention. It’s sometimes easier to let things go.
- Don’t get defensive or violent
If someone constantly bullies you, focuses on your flaws, or finds ways to belittle you, their aim is to get you to fight or do something rash. So the worst thing you can do in a situation like this is get defensive or violent.
A better way to address the issue will be to ask probing questions that can destabilize them and force them to desist from their bullying act.
You can ask questions such as what exactly do you want from me? What exactly is your problem with what I am doing?
Be careful not to throw in a punch or get physical in any way, as this can complicate the issue. Besides, it passes the wrong message, that you are weak, and this will only make your hater hate you some more.
- Give it time
Time, they say, is a healer.
A general rule of thumb is that as time passes, everything, and anything can get better. This rule applies here as well. Both you and your hater can get over your controversies/differences if you give it time. Time to heal.
Note: Never try to change yourself to please anyone. It’s not worth it. Your life on earth isn’t solely to please a particular person or make them like you at all costs.
Always remember that no one can hate a particular person for the rest of their lives. It’s usually just a temporary phase. So give it time.
Give them time. And give yourself time as well to get over the whole situation.